Eyes Wide Open

A consortium of Christian campus ministries at TU have come together to sponsor a week of 24/7 prayer. At the heart of campus, near the chapel, is a 10×10 tent that has been set up for this purpose. Inside is carpet, a few bean-bags and pillows, a guitar, a map of the world, art supplies, and a wooden cross. This is designed to be an interactive experience, as is all prayer I suspect.

This post is not intended to lift up this prayer effort to be lauded. What I hope it does, however, is to serve as a spring-board for others who wonder what it might be like to spend an hour in prayer. So, for those who think it is difficult to spend 5 minutes in prayer, let alone 60, rest assured that prayer can take on many forms.

I arrived at 7:04am (late…signed up to be here at 7am)

7:04am Took a look around the tent, read some of the prayers and writing on the walls
7:08am Put on my coat. It was a bit chilly!
7:09am Turned on my computer (itunes), set up a playlist of music, including Bebo Norman and Hillsongs
7:12am Listened
7:20am Read Psalm 139 a few times
7:30am Spent time praying for the TU faculty, staff, and students
7:45am Wrote out a few prayer requests and clipped them to the clothes-liine thingy running across the ceiling
7:50am Wrote this blog post
8:04am Left the prayer tent

Tonight, Heather and I had a nice dinner with the kids followed by a good tag-team get-the-kids-ready-for-bed-time…all before settling in to watch some tv. As usual for a Friday night (and given the recent writers strike), there was not much to watch. That is, until we found the Celine Dion Special on CBS.

The conversation, or play-by-play, went something like this:

Me: “She has a very nice voice…my sister DeAnn really likes her.”
Heather: “I think they are almost the same age…Is she (Celine) still doing the Vegas thing?”
Me: “I’m not sure. She is the opening act for the new Tulsa arena when it opens next year.”

(pause)

Me: “That’s quite a revealing outfit she’s wearing.”
Heather: “Yeah it is.”

(later on)

Me: “You think she will be the Barbara Streisand of our generation?” (I so can’t believe I just said that)
Heather: “I would say so…”

(more time passes)

Me: “Her stage movement looks a bit strange during this song.”
Heather: “Maybe she isn’t a very good free-style dancer. You know, Whitney Houston was always awkward on stage.”

(pause)

Me: “Do you think the fact that I’m really enjoying her performance makes me old?”

(more silence)

Me: “Wow! Did you hear her hit that note? It was effortless!”
Heather: “That’s why Simon Cowell hates it when all those girls try to sing Celine Dion. They can’t do it.”
Me: “Oh, here comes Josh Groban, they are going to sing ‘The Prayer!’ I’m going to call Meredith!” (I sang this duet with her friend Julie at Meredith’s wedding recently)
Heather: “I think you and Julie could give these two a run for their money…”
Me: (lacking all humility) “We did pretty much kick butt on that one.”

It’s official. I’m growing old.

My mother died one week ago today in Fargo, ND (heart-attack). She was 61 years old.

I’m not sure where to begin, but to say that “the Lord is gracious and kind” would be an understatement. I pray these comments reflect just that.

My mom was born 13th out of 14 children and lived all of her growing-up years on the farm. Her life was filled with such complexity, so many battles, so many personal demons. Yet, she left an indelible mark on so many. This weekend I heard stories of how she and her sister Carol participated in 4-H and ran around town chasing boys, in no particular order. I heard of how she met my dad in high school and they were married not long after she graduated. I heard from my sister DeAnn, who told me mom would always be waiting for her at home after school to hear of the day’s events, often with fresh-baked cookies or other goods.

I heard from a man who knew my mom from riding the bus to work every day. He said she was so kind to him. I met two nuns, one who serves as the director for an assisted-living care center where mom worked for the last 18 months or so. They spoke candidly, but compassionately of what a wonderful caretaker she was. I even met some of her co-workers from a local hotel where she worked as a housekeeper, I know they loved her dearly.

The paradox here is that mom did so well to take care of everyone else, but when it came to taking care of herself and her children, she fell short most every time. You see, my Mom was an alcoholic…and she knew firsthand the perils of mental illness. She had made her way out of homelessness (thanks to the transitional housing programs through the YWCA of Fargo) in recent years. Yet, for every one redeeming story we heard, there were 5 more any of us could tell that would make your heart break. But we didn’t tell those stories. Not this time. This time we honored my mother, first because she is a child of God, and secondly because we know that mom’s struggle is finally finished, it is over. She is now, finally, at rest. And for this we rejoice in the One who makes all things new…who can take even the most painful tragedies of life and bend them for good, even as He did on the cross.

I met first cousins for the first time (I have at least 70 from my mom’s side). I was reunited with Aunts and Uncles, some who I had not seen in 15 years. I witnessed first-hand true hospitality as my sister’s in-laws who live near by opened their hearts and their home to our family. For me, however, the Love of Christ shined brightest through a little community of faith called the First Presbyterian Church of Tulsa and another little community of Jesus-followers from the University of Tulsa. The cards, letters, emails, phone calls, and prayers continue to demonstrate the beauty of the body of Christ. Please continue to pray for my little sister Jennifer; she was living with my mom and now makes her way amidst a myriad of challenges.

I feel a little older today, whatever that means. Some call it a “Coming of Age.” What I do know is that today, Ash Wednesday, reminds us of our mortality as we begin a season of preparation that leads us to the cross, where, out of death…comes life eternal for all who believe.

Hebrews 13:17 (NRSV)
Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls and will give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with sighing–for that would be harmful to you.

I recently co-conducted a Memorial Service for a 97 year-old man and it was the first I’ve done since being ordained in September. I had visited this dear gentleman in the hospital while making a weekly visit just prior to his death; his lovely wife was at his side, as she had been for over 67 years. It was quite remarkable.

My friend and fellow laborer, Elaine, was so gracious in walking me through her “best practices” when it comes to crafting a Memorial Service. But here’s where being an unoriginal original really sticks for me: When we sat with this family to share stories, when we prayed with them prior to the service, when we stood by them at the graveside, she not only shared with me the nuances you won’t find in a text book, she modeled them for me.

Why is this so important, this “do what I do” and “say what I say” encouragement that comes from mentors and leaders? For one, this was how Jesus did life with the disciples. The whole follow me notion is really quite remarkable. But why?

It seems the “default” mode for most people when faced with any number of tasks, problems, or circumstances, is to simply do the same thing you did last time. So…people get busy, life happens, and in a time crunch something always gets pinched from the process. For example, when I conduct the next Memorial Service, I will first look back and see what I did the last time. Unless it was an absolute train-wreck, I will probably use the very same template. So maybe the last time wasn’t a train-wreck, but maybe it wasn’t anything substantive and transformational either. In order to conduct weddings, funerals, or even baptisms that are very bit as formative the 100th time as they were the first, then the first ones must be carefully and prayerfully crafted (this is not to say that these things won’t evolve through time, but the initial building blocks will always be in place).

So, whether you are preparing a forecast, trying a court case, interviewing for a job, or training for a marathon, ever think that maybe God has put in your way certain people in leadership positions? Perhaps, if you pay attention, you might somehow learn from their very best practices as you are make your way in becoming a tool in the hand of the Master Craftsman…

First off, my wife is stellar. Really. She does a great job capturing the weekly happenings of the “Oklahomans” in our family blog, The Melting Pot. If you haven’t checked it out, you should.

(hey, what about a little Vietnamese and North Dakota in this pot? what should we add next? lol!)

Romans 12:6-8 (NRSV)
We have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us: prophecy, in proportion to faith; [7] ministry, in ministering; the teacher, in teaching; [8] the exhorter, in exhortation; the giver, in generosity; the leader, in diligence; the compassionate, in cheerfulness.

Today continues a series of posts on the subject of mentoring, leadership, discipleship, or whatever “ship” seems to fit. This topic has recently surfaced for me as I navigate year number one of vocational ministry that seeks to lay a foundation for years to come.

Leadership comes in many shapes and sizes. Organizations like Growing Leaders, and Willow Creek’s “Leadership Summit”, and Catalyst represent a few well-known sources. Attend these conferences and you’ll discover a wealth of knowledge and experience that you can stick in your backpack along the trail. But there is a difference in gleaning “best practices” and “principles” from these people/events vs. becoming a clone or drinking the Kool-Aid, if you know what I mean.

Tim Elmore, founder of Growing Leaders, is one of those helpful voices for me. He is not in the least bit flashy, hip, or emerging…but he is grounded, caring, and full of passion that seeks to develop young leaders who will help transform the world around them. Peruse through the Growing Leaders site and you will discover a few guiding assumptions/conditions:

There is leadership potential in every young person.

Healthy leadership is servant-leadership.

Everyone can learn to be a better leader.

I once heard the following definition concerning this very subject: Leadership is influence. Nothing more, nothing less. Those who say, “I am certainly not a leader, nor do I want to be one,” mis-calculate the very definition of leadership. We all carry the potential to influence others, for good or for bad, regardless of how we do it. I’ve been around youth ministry long enough to know that there are some who lead by listening and serving, some by teaching, some by quiet modeling. Still others lead (influence) kids and parents in a different direction…with selfish agendas and lone-ranger practices that come masked in all shapes and sizes.

Learning to become Christ-like and embrace servant leadership requires a measure of conformity to the Master himself, even amidst the wealth of uniqueness that makes us original.

In case you haven’t noticed, Eyeswideopenblog.com recently underwent a bit of a face-lift. The template is a WordPress theme called Cutline 3-column split.

The banner pic at the top of the page is an image taken by my good friend Paul McEntire. Any guess on whose little foot you see hiding in the grass? None other than that of Sarah E. Homan.

Hebrews 13:7
Remember your leaders, those who spoke the word of God to you; consider the outcome of their way of life, and imitate their faith.

Here is a typical conversation concerning a child that one is likely to hear at a family gathering:
“Oh, he’s just like his Father!” says one Auntie.
“I think he takes after his sister.” says another.
“But when he speaks, he sounds like his uncle!” says yet another.

I have come to greatly appreciate mentors in my life. While in college one of my Resident Advisors once pointed me to Hebrews 13:7 and encouraged me to pay attention when I am around other men and women of faith. “Imitate them,” he said. Never before had I felt the freedom to be so un-original. Seriously, the last thing a college student wants to do is a be unoriginal. But my friend and mentor wasn’t encouraging me to be a copy-cat. In fact, I discovered great wisdom in learning to be like those who were a bit further along in the game and whose trees were producing fruit.

Finding one’s own voice is a process that takes a long time. Along the way it is seasoned and tenderized in all sorts of ways. Staying with the food metaphor, what sorts of ingredients ought to go into your casserole (or as we call it in Minnesota, your Hot Dish)?

Over the next week or so I will offer a series of posts on the subject of human growth and development and our roles of being both Mentors and Mentees (Christianese Translation: Christian Growth and Discipleship). What things might be important in seeking to become a more-faithful and/or mature follow Jesus? A good place to start might be to ask the following question:

This is just plain sad…

Couple seek lost dog given away

After a short hiatus from blogging, I’m back.

Since I’ve been away, our son Andrew has grown to more than a whopping 23 lbs. and is ready to begin crawling. Sarah’s vocabulary is slowly growing, and she goes pee-pee on the potty about 1,234,453 times per day. She had a wonderful Christmas, learning how to sing Jingle Bells and Happy Birthday to Jesus (pronounced “Geeeee!”).

Here are a few things I hope to blog about in 2008:

-The many significant “firsts” I’ve experienced in the past year.
-Oral Roberts University. My alma matter faces a new day full of new challenges. Never have I experienced an institution full of such tremendous promise and complexity…
-Books I’m reading (including The Crucifixion of Ministry, Going All the Way, The Irresistible Revolution, Un-Christian, Searching for God Knows What, and many more).
-Ministry with and to Young Adults (loosely defined as 18-30somethings, although I’m beginning to think that many people over 40 think Young Adult is defined as anyone 39 and younger).
-Random Musings and Observations.
-Important Current Events

Cheers!